• “What’s vanilla sex?” I ask, if anything to distract myself from the intense, burning, sexy look he’s giving me. He laughs.“Just straightforward sex, Anastasia. No toys, no added extras.” He shrugs. “You know… well actually you don’t, but that’s what it means.” “Oh.” I thought it was chocolate fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on the top. But hey, what do I know?
• “I could stare at him all day, but I have needs- bathroom needs.”
• “He cries out and stills, and I can feel warm, salty liquid oozing down my throat.”
• “Hmm… he’s soft and hard at once, like steel encased in velvet, and surprisingly tasty – salty and smooth.”
• “His hands glide across to my breasts, and I inhale sharply as his fingers encircle them and start kneading gently, taking no prisoners.”
• “Finally, my medulla oblongata recalls its purpose. I breathe.”
• “I eye Christian’s toothbrush. It would be like having him in my mouth. Hmm… Glancing guiltily over my shoulder at the door, I feel the bristles on the toothbrush. They are damp. He must have used it already. Grabbing it quickly, I squirt toothpaste on it and brush my teeth in double quick time. I feel so naughty. It’s such a thrill

I CAN’T!!!!! WHO READS THIS??! WHO?!??

• #50 shades of grey
• #LOL
• #I AM DECEASED